20. Tom Waits and Rogue Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout

Tom Waits + Shakespeare Stout = So so cool. Seriously, that's all there is to this. The consumption of both of these will make you cooler and more appealing to peers and/or members of the opposite sex, see below.

Step 1: Buy a couple of bottles of this excellent beer from the always impressive Rogue put them in the fridge for just a bit.
Step 2: Pick up Swordfishtrombones, Rain Dogs, and Mule Variations (preferably on vinyl, not because I am a complete believer that all things sound better on vinyl, but because Mr. Waits voice and music certainly do).
Step 3. Invite a handful of friends over for some dominoes and general rocking.
Step 4. Throw one of the records on at decent volume.
Step 5. Pour yourself a glass of this wonderful nearly jet black stout.
Step 6. Sit yourself down comfortably in a chair and wait.

Result: Friends will arrive and be immediately impressed by your new-found awesomeness. They likely will not be able to place it. Some may even ask if you have been working out. But no, you know you have not been. You know the overwhelming smell of cool is radiating from that voice and timeless instrumentation that is Tom Waits and the confidence that can only come from sipping on a beer that is so unashamed of throwing straight coffee, chocolate, and bitter malts into a bottle and leaving well enough alone. But it can be your secret, enjoy the increased respect/flirtation...you've earned it simply through your appreciation of these finest of offerings. Nothing fancy here, just two things that are completely unfuckwithable...that is all, and sometimes that is all that is needed to make a classic.